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  3. Condolences message

Condolences message.
What to write.

Say you are sorry, name the person they lost, and mean it. That is enough.

The condolence messages below are sorted by who is signing. Pick yours, use the right name, and sign.

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Everyone's words in one card.

Updated

A candle, lit. A light for them.

With you in this. Always.

From Aisha

Ring me at any hour. I mean it. I am not going anywhere.

From Tom

No words are right for this, so we will just say we love you.

From Maya

Pick a design

  • A leaf. So sorry for your loss.
  • Lino-cut lettering in a printed band. So sorry. With love.
  • Marker lettering. Thinking of you today, and on the days after too.
  • A pale stone on linen. Thinking of you.
  • A dark blue paper landscape. Thinking of you.
  • Cutpaper sympathy card. Thinking of you.
  • A candle in a dark window. Thinking of you.
  • A bunch of flowers. With love.
  • Two-colour printed lettering. No need to reply to this. We just wanted you to know we're thinking of you.
  • A candle. Holding you in our thoughts.

The question

Each writer gets a question.

One at a time, about Sam. They answer in their own words, or write without one.

Who they are to you
  1. A memory you would like Sam to have.
  2. Something you saw between them that you will not forget.
  3. A thing you learned from the person who has died.
  4. Something kind you saw Sam do for them.
  5. What you will remember them for.
  6. A plain offer of help you mean to keep.
  1. The moment you knew you had a proper friend in Sam.
  2. Something Sam did that only a friend would.
  3. A thing you still laugh about together.
  4. The time Sam turned up when it mattered.
  5. Something Sam knew about you before you said it.
  1. Something Sam did for the family that went unsaid.
  2. A habit of Sam's that you have caught yourself copying.
  3. A memory of Sam from when you were younger.
  4. Something Sam put up with from you.
  5. Something Sam taught you, mostly by example.
  1. A small thing Sam did that you noticed and never mentioned.
  2. The moment you knew.
  3. Something Sam did this year that made things easier for you.
  4. A thing about Sam you would not change.
  5. Something Sam carried that was yours to carry.
  1. The thing you go to Sam for.
  2. Something you picked up from working beside Sam.
  3. A bad day at work that Sam turned round.
  4. Something a new starter should be told about Sam.
  5. Something Sam did that made the job feel worth doing.

Or write without one.

Condolence messages for the card

Pick one, change a name so it is true, and sign it.

Short

  • I am so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you.

  • Sorry does not cover it, but I am deeply sorry.

  • We are thinking of you and sending all our love.

  • With you in this. Always.

  • So sorry. We are here whenever you need us.

From a close friend

  • I loved them too. I will miss them, and I am so sorry you are going through this.

  • You do not have to say anything or reply. Just know I am here, today and whenever.

  • Ring me at any hour. I mean it. I am not going anywhere.

  • I keep thinking of that time we all sat together. What a person they were.

  • Come round when you are ready, or stay home. Either way, I will check in.

From family

  • We are all thinking of you. They will be so missed by every one of us.

  • Grief is hardest in the quiet moments. We are here for those too.

  • No words are right for this, so we will just say we love you.

  • They were part of this family in every way that counted. We feel this too.

For someone you knew less well

  • Please accept our sincere condolences. We are thinking of you.

  • I did not know them well, but I could see how much they meant to you. I am so sorry.

  • Wishing you comfort and the company of people who love you.

  • Very sorry for your loss.

For a colleague

  • The whole team is thinking of you. Take whatever time you need.

  • I am so sorry. Please do not think about work at all right now.

  • We will be here when you are back, and here in the meantime too. Deepest condolences.

  • Sorry for your loss. The team sends its love.

What to leave out

Do not say they are in a better place or that things happen for a reason. You do not know what the person believes, and grief is not a problem a card can solve.

Do not write about how you have been through something similar. The card is for them, not a space to compare losses.

Do not mention the practical things, the will, the house, the arrangements. If those conversations need to happen, they happen later, in person.

Do not write a long message to fill space. Two real sentences are better than a paragraph of words that say nothing specific about the person or the loss.

One card from everyone who knew them

Friends, family, anyone who wants to say something. One link, and it opens when you send it.

  1. 01

    Start the card now.

    Grief does not wait for a convenient moment. The card is ready to share as soon as you create it.

  2. 02

    Send the link to whoever wants to sign.

    Each person writes once, in their own words, from any browser. No account needed.

  3. 03

    Send it when it is ready.

    The person reads every message, each one signed with a name. They can return to it whenever they need to.

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Questions

What do you say in a condolence message?

Say you are sorry, name the person they have lost, and offer something real. One or two sentences written with care means more than a long message written to look right.

Is it okay to send a condolence card late?

Yes. Grief lasts longer than the first week, and a card arriving later can matter just as much. A short note saying you have been thinking of them is never wrong.

Should a condolence card be from one person or the whole group?

A card signed by everyone who knew them carries real weight. On tbf, one card goes round from a single link, so the whole group can sign without anyone chasing a piece of paper.

Part of group sympathy card.

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Everyone's words in one card.