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Sympathy card.
What to write.

Name the person they lost, say you are sorry, and stop. A short line you mean beats a long one you borrowed.

The lines below are sorted by who is signing. Pick your group, use the name of the person who died, and sign.

Create a cardRead a sample card

Everyone's words in one card.

Updated

Cutpaper sympathy card. Thinking of you.

Grief is not tidy and neither is friendship. I am not going anywhere.

From Nadia

We will miss him too. Take all the time you need.

From Joe

Very sorry to hear this. Thinking of you.

From Priya

Pick a design

  • A candle in a dark window. Thinking of you.
  • A tree. With deepest sympathy.
  • Botanical sympathy card. Thinking of you.
  • Marker lettering. If you want to talk about them, we'd love to listen.
  • A leaf. So sorry for your loss.
  • Stilllife sympathy card. Thinking of you.
  • A teapot. Thinking of you. The kettle's always on here.
  • Marker lettering. We don't know what to say, so we'll just say we love you.
  • Pop sympathy card. Thinking of you.
  • Midcentury sympathy card. Thinking of you.

The question

Each writer gets a question.

One at a time, about Sam. They answer in their own words, or write without one.

Who they are to you
  1. A memory you would like Sam to have.
  2. Something you saw between them that you will not forget.
  3. A thing you learned from the person who has died.
  4. Something kind you saw Sam do for them.
  5. What you will remember them for.
  6. A plain offer of help you mean to keep.
  1. The moment you knew you had a proper friend in Sam.
  2. Something Sam did that only a friend would.
  3. A thing you still laugh about together.
  4. The time Sam turned up when it mattered.
  5. Something Sam knew about you before you said it.
  1. Something Sam did for the family that went unsaid.
  2. A habit of Sam's that you have caught yourself copying.
  3. A memory of Sam from when you were younger.
  4. Something Sam put up with from you.
  5. Something Sam taught you, mostly by example.
  1. A small thing Sam did that you noticed and never mentioned.
  2. The moment you knew.
  3. Something Sam did this year that made things easier for you.
  4. A thing about Sam you would not change.
  5. Something Sam carried that was yours to carry.
  1. The thing you go to Sam for.
  2. Something you picked up from working beside Sam.
  3. A bad day at work that Sam turned round.
  4. Something a new starter should be told about Sam.
  5. Something Sam did that made the job feel worth doing.

Or write without one.

Sympathy card lines

Use the name of the person they lost. That one change makes every line yours.

For a close friend

  • I am so sorry about your mum. She was exactly as kind as you always said.

  • Thinking of you every day. There is nothing to say that covers it, so I will just say I am here.

  • You do not need to reply to this. I just needed you to know I am thinking of you.

  • I am so sorry. Ring me when you want to talk, and ring me when you do not.

  • Grief is not tidy and neither is friendship. I am not going anywhere.

For family

  • We are all thinking of you. He was loved by every person in this family.

  • She was one of the good ones. We are so sorry, and we are right here.

  • No words are right for this. Just know we love you and we are close.

  • We will miss him too. Take all the time you need.

  • Thinking of you all. The stories about her will keep for as long as you need them.

For someone you know less well

  • I am so sorry for your loss. Please know you are in my thoughts.

  • With deepest sympathy. I hope the days ahead are a little gentler.

  • Very sorry to hear this. Thinking of you.

  • My condolences to you and your family. I am so sorry.

For the loss of a pet

  • I am so sorry about your dog. The house is going to feel very quiet.

  • She was a good girl and she knew she was loved. I am so sorry.

  • Losing a pet is its own kind of grief. Thinking of you.

  • He was part of every story you told. I am really sorry.

Short

  • We are all so sorry.

  • Thinking of you. So sorry.

  • Our deepest sympathies to you.

  • I am so sorry. We all are.

  • Holding you in our thoughts.

What to leave out

Do not say they are in a better place unless you know the person shares that belief. Assume nothing about faith.

Do not explain the loss back to them. They know what happened. Write about the person, not the circumstances.

Do not write anything that asks them to look on the bright side. A long life, a peaceful end, and no more suffering are not the things to reach for in this card.

Do not end with a question. They cannot answer a card, and right now answering anything is hard.

One card from everyone

Friends, family, people who wanted to say something but did not know how. One link, and it is there when they need it.

  1. 01

    Set the date.

    The card opens on the day you choose. Send it when the time feels right, not just on the day of the funeral.

  2. 02

    Share one link.

    Each person writes their own line, in their own words. Nobody sees the others until the card opens.

  3. 03

    They read it when they are ready.

    Every line signed with a name. They can come back to it as many times as they like.

Create a card

Questions

What do you write in a sympathy card?

Name the person who died, say you are sorry, and offer one true thing. That is a sympathy card done.

Is it okay to write something short?

Yes. A short line you mean is better than a long one that sounds borrowed. The person reading it is exhausted.

When should you send a sympathy card?

As soon as you hear. A card that arrives a week later still matters. It is never too late to say you are thinking of someone.

Part of group sympathy card.

More guides

Somebody has a day coming up.

Create a card

Everyone's words in one card.